Buford T. Justice Lives

It is time once more to poke fun at the government of Clinton County Kentucky. As the title implies, I am casting aspersions on the local law enforcement community. The community that had me fill out a complaint on a post it note. But that was two sheriffs ago, and believe it or not, it has been downhill ever since.
This time I tried to report a theft, but it didn't go well.
Going to check on the house, the door was open. Of course the sheriff was called. It took 3 hours to respond. That would be understandable if I lived in Alaska or Montana, but 10 minutes from the courthouse? They said he was busy leading funeral processions. I thought a theft and a possibility of the intruder still on the premises would have been more important. I guess I was wrong. Three hours wrong seems a bit excessive though. And Europeans wonder why the people in Middle America will never agree to limits on firearms. Would you, if you had such stellar enforcers of the law to protect you?
Anyway, no thieves were there, but a gun safe had been professionally drilled into and opened and everything of value had been taken. A bit of a backstory, never use US Bank. Once they find that you aren't living there, they get worried about protecting their investment, and their property protection teams are less then professional and don't hesitate to seize the property with no notice. If you want the situation resolved, then you get to try to get two call centers to talk to each other. It's great fun. Anyway, at the time of this incident three people had keys to the property; myself, my realtor, and the bank's property protection contractor.
The door was opened with a key. There was no breaking and entering. The safe was professionally drilled into and everything of value was taken.  The sheriff replied that it was the work of squatters. Apparently, there are a lot of empty houses in Clinton county (I wonder why), and the sheriff can't spare the manpower (be bothered to) remove them or check on the houses. The fact that the door was opened with a key didn't seem to register. Neither did the fact that the beds weren't slept in and there was no trash in the house. Just an entry with a key and a professional clean out job. It was squatters. Of course, no fingerprints were taken. It was claimed that the county couldn't afford a fingerprint kit. Of course, the sheriff wouldn't call on the sate police to take fingerprints either, even though he retired from that force (makes you wonder about them to). The annoying part is that everyone who had key, has fingerprints on file, being bonded in some service or another. The door was opened with a key. It seems like a slam dunk. But I guess such things aren't important to law enforcement in Clinton County Kentucky.
Of course, although one shouldn't judge by appearances, I think the sheriff's photo says it all.

Just remember, this is the photo he provided the local newspaper when they did his welcome aboard article. 

If you want to buy a 19th Century farmhouse in rural Kentucky, just let me know. I can get you a good deal on it.