More On The Death Watch

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about how there were some "important" families around here and that things tended to always happen to benefit their clans, including the deaths of their opponents.

Here is an old story along the same lines. It also shows how the press here obfuscates the truth. It concerns the death of the sheriff one county over.

https://www.odmp.org/officer/16249-sheriff-samuel-wilson-catron

What the news story tells you is that an assassin shot and killed the sheriff, one of the deputies who was running against him was indicted, and two of the people involved got life sentences. It's like they're trying to avoid telling the truth on the issue.

The local story fills in the blanks. The deputy really wanted to be sheriff, but he didn't have a chance of winning the election. He therefore hired a criminal to shoot the sheriff and since he was the only other person running, he gets the job. He would have gotten away with it too, except he hired someone who was stupid enough to actually show himself after the assassination to see if he really got the sheriff. Then when he was caught, he squealed on the deputy immediately. The speed at which the local criminal class around here turns snitch is amazing. If the deputy had hired a more intelligent hit man or hired him through a third party, he would have gotten away free and clear.

Imagine a place where law enforcement acts this way, then imagine how the rest of Kentucky acts. Is a death watch surrounding the top families really so fantastic?

From the Mouths of Babes

One of the nice things about having connections in the educational establishment is that students say the most amusing things. I was talking to a middle school teacher the other day (middle school consists of grades 6 - 8, about age 11 - 13) who related the following story:

They were discussing the government and were explaining that they lived in a dry county. A dry county is one where the sale of alcohol is forbidden. Why a state that is famous for whiskey production has more dry counties than any other in the United States seems hypocritical, but it is typical Kentucky. Anyway, the teacher was explaining that they lived in a dry county, so you couldn't buy alcohol there. One of the students immediately replied, "Sure you can. Just go to the trailer park down town and go to the third trailer on the left".

The really amusing part was that a lot of the students seemed to know about this. Now if 11 - 13 year olds know this, you'd expect the police to as well. Especially since a trailer park in the South is hardly a private space. But that's Kentucky. The law can be incredibly blind depending on who your are and whose interests are served.

Kentucky Colonels

The above is the license plate of a Kentucky Colonel. What is a Kentucky Colonel, you may ask. The Colonels are listed as a voluntary, philanthropic organization. In order to become a Colonel, you must be nominated by a current Colonel and then appointed by the governor. The appointment is supposed to be for some philanthropic work that has benefited the people of the state.
Personally, I don't know of any philanthropic works actually done by the Colonels I run across. Rather, it's more of an I'm connected and important type of thing. Now I ask you, in a state that has been nominated for most corrupt in the country, is it a good idea to give one class of people a special license plate that proclaims them politically connected all the way up to the governor? It sounds more like a get out of tickets plate than anything else. 

Hating Ohio, part 2

Recently, I came across an article in the news about neighbors being up in arms in a certain part of New York because the local mosque blared the call for prayer so loudly that it could be heard for 20 blocks. That's a little over a mile. Now, I'm all for putting restrictions on the mosque. After all, America isn't a Muslim country, and one must try to be polite to the neighbors. If you read back over my blog, you'll see that I've complained about Christians doing the same.
But the tale here is about hating Ohio again. This last weekend, I got to listen to horrible, top 40 country music coming from the boats racing along the river. Yes, I do mean racing. You see, when an 18 foot boat tows a water skier, the noise isn't that bad. Now, double the size of the boat. The noise more than doubles. Now, instead of one boat, make it 4 or 5. Now, since they all like music, put on speakers you can hear over the engine so the skier gets to listen to the music. I live a mile from the river, and I can hear the songs at the same volume as I play my TV at.
The only difference is that the mosque broadcasts 5 times a day, while the idiots on the lake run for 16 hours straight.

Kentucky Efficiency

It's now time to spread the net to the entire state of Kentucky. The shocking thing is that there haven't been more Kentucky posts given the current governor and attorney general. Today we delve into the world of health insurance.
Kentucky state and state affiliated employees have the option to sign up for "livingwell" insurance. This allows you to save a bit over $1000 a year in premiums. In order to receive this benefit, you need to fill out a questionnaire about your health. That's it. No doctor visit. No actual checking on your health. Just answer a few questions once a year and you are good to go. Of course, this is administered by Humana, that quintessential  Kentucky company. Of course, as an insurance company, they are very concerned about security. Also, you need to complete the questionnaire by July 1st, of you get to pay an extra money next year.
I recently went to fill out my questionnaire and found I was locked out. Of course no one told me I was locked out. There were no warnings. I was simply put into an endless loop. I then had to go through the long and annoying call center process to get my password reset where I was told that since I hadn't been on the site for about a year (Duh, I only go there to fill out my annual health assessment, like almost everyone else), that I'd been locked out for my own protection. No real problem for me. The call center was so inept that I was laughing for most of the call. But what about everyone else? What about all those people who wait until the last 48 hours to fill out their assessment, only to find they are locked out and need a call center to give them access? I'd hate to work in that call center in a couple of weeks.
The question is, is this an attempt to force people to pay more, or just total stupidity on the part of Humana's administration. Since Kentucky is know for both corruption and stupid, we will never know.

Buford T. Justice Lives

It is time once more to poke fun at the government of Clinton County Kentucky. As the title implies, I am casting aspersions on the local law enforcement community. The community that had me fill out a complaint on a post it note. But that was two sheriffs ago, and believe it or not, it has been downhill ever since.
This time I tried to report a theft, but it didn't go well.
Going to check on the house, the door was open. Of course the sheriff was called. It took 3 hours to respond. That would be understandable if I lived in Alaska or Montana, but 10 minutes from the courthouse? They said he was busy leading funeral processions. I thought a theft and a possibility of the intruder still on the premises would have been more important. I guess I was wrong. Three hours wrong seems a bit excessive though. And Europeans wonder why the people in Middle America will never agree to limits on firearms. Would you, if you had such stellar enforcers of the law to protect you?
Anyway, no thieves were there, but a gun safe had been professionally drilled into and opened and everything of value had been taken. A bit of a backstory, never use US Bank. Once they find that you aren't living there, they get worried about protecting their investment, and their property protection teams are less then professional and don't hesitate to seize the property with no notice. If you want the situation resolved, then you get to try to get two call centers to talk to each other. It's great fun. Anyway, at the time of this incident three people had keys to the property; myself, my realtor, and the bank's property protection contractor.
The door was opened with a key. There was no breaking and entering. The safe was professionally drilled into and everything of value was taken.  The sheriff replied that it was the work of squatters. Apparently, there are a lot of empty houses in Clinton county (I wonder why), and the sheriff can't spare the manpower (be bothered to) remove them or check on the houses. The fact that the door was opened with a key didn't seem to register. Neither did the fact that the beds weren't slept in and there was no trash in the house. Just an entry with a key and a professional clean out job. It was squatters. Of course, no fingerprints were taken. It was claimed that the county couldn't afford a fingerprint kit. Of course, the sheriff wouldn't call on the sate police to take fingerprints either, even though he retired from that force (makes you wonder about them to). The annoying part is that everyone who had key, has fingerprints on file, being bonded in some service or another. The door was opened with a key. It seems like a slam dunk. But I guess such things aren't important to law enforcement in Clinton County Kentucky.
Of course, although one shouldn't judge by appearances, I think the sheriff's photo says it all.

Just remember, this is the photo he provided the local newspaper when they did his welcome aboard article. 

If you want to buy a 19th Century farmhouse in rural Kentucky, just let me know. I can get you a good deal on it.

Reproduction Without Sex

In the last post, I complained about Ohio. It's time to move back to Kentucky.
The question is, how do you father a child without having sex. If you're a hillbilly it's easy. You start by going on a double date with your buddy and realizing that you're the only one who brought a condom. The hillbilly solution? No problem. Take turns. Since it's your condom, you get to use it first. Then turn it inside out, give it a quick wipe down and hand it to your buddy. What could go wrong?
Florida man has nothing on Kentucky.
The question is who's more pissed. The guy paying child support when he never had sex with the girl, or the guy whose best friend knocked up his girlfriend? 

Ohio People

It is well known that Kentuckians hate Ohio people on principle. There is even a radio talk show host that has mentioned blowing up the bridges over the Ohio river to keep them out. Said host is from one of the major cities, so his main complaint is that they drive 20 miles an hour under the traffic flow in the left hand lane. If he lived in the hills, in the place called lake country, he'd hate them for other reasons.
I was asked the other day, why I had such an attitude toward Ohio people. For some reason, people whose lives don't intersect with them don't have a knee jerk reaction of revulsion, so I will explain why Kentucky would be much better off if the border were sealed.
A few posts back I posted on the Beavis and Butthead mobile home transport company closing the main road for a half hour. The point to remember is that as the local communities have grown, people have moved out to places along roads like this to avoid the city lifestyle. Of course, there is no money to improve the roads, so the locals have to deal with a 25 minute drive on a narrow winding road with no place to pass in order to get to work, but they accept this for a more peaceful lifestyle. Then the Ohio people arrive. They come in two categories. The first is amazed at the farms along the road, so they drive at 30mph in a 55mph zone and occasionally come to a near stop to discuss the cows they are seeing. News flash, this isn't a safari drive set up for your benefit. People here actually have to get places, you self-centered twits. The second category drives the speed limit, but you wish they wouldn't, because they're towing a cabin cruiser behind them. It's a rare street sign that hasn't been battered by a boat during the summer, or a local who hasn't been forced off the road. Now, not all Ohio people drive like this, but when you meet a couple a day in one of the above categories, you tend to judge them all and not make distinctions.
They are noisy. Ohio people like to yell a lot. Once they move into their summer homes, they talk to each other. The problem is they talk to each other from across the neighborhood. It's annoying. They also do the same in the local Wal Mart. They'll hold conversations with each other from across the store by yelling at the top of their lungs. They honestly don't see a problem in doing so. Did I use the words self-centered twits yet? If their voices aren't enough, you haven't learned annoyance until you've had one of the Ohio families try and fix their boat next door to you. This usually consists of a week of revving up the engine for 8 hours a day. When this fails to achieve the desired results, they have a boat party with the speakers and the loud music right in their yard. They claim it's because they are in the country, but they are idiots. They do these things in subdivisions were the average lot size is half an acre.
Then, since they are in the country, they need to travel in a country fashion. Did I mention subdivisions with half acre lot sizes yet? So, they get four wheelers to travel on. It's like a geriatric version of the Wild Ones.
Of course, you can't forget the dogs. Since they're going to the country, they must bring their dogs and dogs in the country must run free. Let me mention the half acre lot size subdivision again. Of course, their method of controlling said dogs is to stand in their yard and yell at them. Get off your lazy backsides and go get your animal. I suppose I am lucky. Even though I am in a subdivision, there are farms across the street and farmers who have to worry about their livestock.
And finally, once the summer ends comes hunting season. Wild protein now being the latest craze among the hipsters. Living in Kentucky, hunting is normal. During hunting season, you'll hear an occasional gun shot, sometimes a follow up. It's the country. Then the Ohio people get into the act. Now at sunrise, you get the "mad minute". Seriously, 3 or 4 different semi auto weapons each firing 4 or 5 rounds. The deer doesn't stand a chance. This is repeated a half dozen times each morning. Normally, hunting over bait is illegal, but the Ohio people all hunt on rented land, so who's to know. Besides, the Ohio people know Kentucky exists to serve their desires.
When I moved to my current home 2 years ago, I usually saw a half dozen deer and the same number of turkey a day. The Ohio people started harvesting the wildlife last year. This year I have seen 4 deer and 2 turkey, all year. Thanks Ohio.
I think the above are ample reasons to be prejudiced toward Ohio.