Hating the Confederate Flag

Appalachia has a way of making you hate things that you once thought were good. Like the Confederate flag. Yes, I know, the Confederate States of America never used it as a flag, it was the naval ensign. I've never figured out why they use the flag they do and not the correct one and no one seems to know how using the naval ensign got started.

When I first moved to the southern parts of America, I really liked seeing the Confederate flag flying. It was a sign of small government, local control, take pride in your culture people. It was a good thing. Then I moved to Appalachia, which in general supported the North during the war. Here the flag means illiterate, inbred, meth dealer, who thinks they can do whatever they want because "they have rahts". Here the flag is used to justify poor, often illegal behavior. Interestingly, in other parts of the south, the Confederate flag was accepted by just about everyone, in Appalachia, only the lower classes accept its use. There is nothing good about the Confederate flag as it is used in Appalachia.

Of course, I now feel the same about the Christianity and "rahts", two things I thought were very good before seeing what hillbillies have done to them. I guess the moral of the story is, no matter how good something is, hillbillies will find a way to fuck it up.

Corrupt County Officials

Last weekend one of my neighbors decided to do some yard clearing, which of course included burning everything. Kentucky allows the burning of yard trash, such as leaves and tree branches, but the trash burning here doesn't seem to fall into that category. After an hour of this I called the county who sent someone from the fire department out who reported that it was just yard waste. Of course the neighbors did change their behavior, they moved to burning at night when pictures couldn't be taken.

 

 

So, for an entire weekend a pall of burning plastic and chemicals hung over the neighborhood, and every call to the fire department resulted in a "yard trash" report. Almost to a person, the people here that I've told about this have told me that the fire department didn't want to annoy their suppliers. I don't know if I'd go that far, preferring to think that it was just gross incompetence, but this county did have a large pot farm with it's own helipad operating on a main road, just a few miles from the courthouse and no one seemed to notice, so I guess it is possible. This neighborhood does have a reputation as the go to place for all your chemical needs.

 

 

I'm still wondering why a 3 day burn, in that location, didn't result in a trailer fire. I can't deny it. I was really hoping for one. Why is God so insistent on protecting the stupid?

 

Paranoia, part 2

Last weekend I had the privilege of supervising the ACT test for a group of aspiring college students. The ACT has a group of students called talent search candidates. These are basically talented middle school students. They are exempt from the photo ID requirement of the ACT but they do need to bring in an official talent search letter.

This time, for some odd reason, only about 25% had this letter. Thankfully, they all had photo ID's or it would have gone badly. A lot of them did have a bunch of useless paperwork from their schools. It makes one wonder. I've been told repeatedly that I don't belong here and that the teachers from the local high school can and should take over the classes at the local community college. The argument being that the pass rates would be much higher. Admittedly, not that many people are saying that, but it doesn't take many when you see the local high school playing nasty games in order to keep the students counted as theirs so that they don't risk their monies.

It all leads one to question whether this paperwork mix up was just that, or whether there was more behind it. It probably was a completely innocent mix up, but... Since the school board does have a corruption lawsuit going right now

http://clintonnews.net/pages/?p=14729

and I've seen them do worse in their quest for educational hegemony in the county, it makes one wonder. That's the worst part about this place. It makes one hopelessly paranoid.

Ladies First?

An amazing sight met my eyes the other day. I saw a group of middle school students returning from a field trip. The first thing that I thought was strange was that there was a boy's bus and a girl's bus. Okay, I get the fact that there is a problem with boys and girls being together around here, there's a problem with teen pregnancy, and the teachers are not even remotely effective at controlling the students.

As an aside, a while back I wrote about a fight during the college fair at the local high school. Apparently, it was broken up by the recruiter from Western Kentucky University, not any of the teachers or employees. Way to go Western. Facepalm for Clinton County High School. But I digress...

With this lack of leadership, it's not surprising that they keep the boys and girls separate. What was amazing was that the boys bus arrived first, but the boys were kept on the bus until the girls bus arrived and ALL of the girls got off. Ladies first I guess. I still don't know whether to be amused or appalled at this blatant display of sexism. It wouldn't be so bad, but many women here merge it with an, I am woman hear me roar attitude, that relegates men to second place, unless they're cute, or possess a trait they find social value in. I still remember a student in one of my classes telling me that she shouldn't have to listen to me because no man ever knew what he was talking about and if her high school math teacher (a woman) told her that I was wrong, then that was that.  Okay, that one was just plain amusing, anyone with a brain should have been able to see what was going to happen with that one, but at least she didn't have to listen to any man.

And then they wonder why the boys are doing so badly academically. If I always came last, except when I was playing on the football team, I'd give up too.

Paranoia

A couple of days ago, a windstorm knocked one of my trees down. Unfortunately, part of it fell in a neighbor's yard. Not much, just a few feet over the boundary line. In a normal world, I'd have just gone out and moved it. Unfortunately, I don't live in a normal world, I live in Appalachia. This particular neighbor has a German Shepard which he lets run free and uses his position in the local law enforcement community to bully others. In that situation, I just left the tree there until I happened to have company, so that I could have witnesses to anything that transpired. That got me thinking how totally horrible life in Appalachia is. Imagine, feeling that you need that level or paranoia in order to survive. It's a lot worse when I need to deal with my welfare king/drug dealer neighbors.

I'm not the only one who feels this of course. I just seem to be the only one who will put it to words and admit it. When I first moved here, I noticed a look in everyone's eyes. They weren't a look that I'd ever seen in an American's eyes before. I'd seen that look before in East Europeans right after communism fell. That look that said they lived in constant fear. Fortunately for the East Europeans, that look seems to have vanished from their countenances. Unfortunately, that look is alive and well in Appalachia.

Is Iceland Right?

Iceland has an approved list of children's names. You have to stick to the list. A bit restrictive for freedom loving Americans, but do they have a point?

While driving through one of the local counties, I noticed a billboard that listed the local insurance agents name as Lindsey Wilson. At first glance, there's nothing wrong with that name. It's a pretty name, and one you'd never think twice about, until you realize that the local college is named Lindsey Wilson College. Did she move here, or was she subjected to a childhood of having the same name as the local college? It would be interesting to know if she went there, but it would probably be rude to call up and ask.

Corrupt Christians, part 2

Awhile ago, I saw a vehicle with official plates being misused. of course I reported it to the state. The state, as I expected, responded in a professional and timely matter. They usually do, Kentucky is generally a great place. The problem is, the vehicle didn't belong to them. it belonged to a neighboring county. That explains perfectly why the person in question thought it was perfectly okay to use a government owned vehicle as a privately owed one. To better illustrate the mindset in this county, you just have to know that they haven't updated their flood maps since the dam went in in the 1950's. Why would any county do that, you might ask. Not updating your flood maps would seriously hurt economic growth in the county. Yes, it does. It also means if you want to buy a house there, you need to go through one of the 2 locally owned banks. Outside banks will not give you a mortgage in a flood zone. So for 60 years, the people of the county have accepted a banking monopoly dictating the terms of home ownership with nary a whimper. Something tells me they wouldn't be too concerned with someone using a county owned vehicle as their personal one.

Not From Around Here

The strangest part about Appalachia is the clannishness that allows nastiness to prosper. For the most part, the people here are good people. They're willing to work hard and just want to be left alone. The problem comes from two sources. The entrenched nobility, as I call them, the descendants of the first families who own everything and will go to extreme lengths to make sure it stays that way, and the lower classes, that generally makes life a living hell for everyone around them.

One of the first things you notice in Appalachia is that you can't call on local officials for help unless you're one of the entrenched nobility. You're basically a target for whatever the lords of the welfare check want to throw your way. You don't count.

The amazing part is, that the good people outnumber the problem people by a large margin, but refuse to do anything about it. The shocking part will come to you the first time you sit down with one of these people and listen to them rail on about the evils of the county. Your initial response will probably be to agree with them and relate a problem of your own. That would be a mistake. as soon as you do this you'll here something like, "You're not from around here, don't go disrespecting our culture". It won't do any good to point out that you're just agreeing with them. As far as they're concerned, you're not from around here, you don't count.

Their concept of "their people" is more important to them then a decent standard of living. Of course the Boss Hoggs and the welfare kings use this to great advantage. It's a pity.

School Violence

An interesting event at the local high school this week as well as an interesting week at the Kentucky Community College System. It's rather karmic in a way. During our last "workplace survey", about a month ago, I mentioned that the potential for student violence was increasing.

The week started off with a box cutter attack at a neighboring community college. two guys got into a disagreement over a girl. Then a few days latter during college and career day at the local high school, while all the college recruiters were assembled, as if on cue, one student beat up another and sent him to the hospital, over a girl again, believe it or not. Seems I was right.

Chain Gang

While driving between work sites today, along a narrow, winding, mountain road, I came upon two prisoners engaged in picking up trash by the side of the road. A fairly common sight. About 100 yards down the road I came upon a hitch hiker going the other way. Now that was strange, since in the past decade, I've never seen a hitch hiker on that road. That coupled with the fact that there were no jail officials on the road, also strange, and you have to wonder. It's probably completely innocent. It just seemed a might coincidental.

Corrupt Christians

I don't know whether to call it chutzpah, ignorance, or criminal behavior. One thing you can say is that Appalachian folks tend to do whatever they want, whenever they want. I keep pointing this out to them as the major reason why this area is economically disadvantaged. They don't buy it. They still think it's because there aren't enough roads, or because enough money hasn't been funneled into the area.

I first noticed the state provided pickup truck because of the fish symbol on the back. You don't usually see a state license plate and a Christian symbol on the same vehicle. To be honest, I really wouldn't have gotten too annoyed with that. I just would have considered it rude behavior. What really caught my attention was when the driver turned off the main road, showing the side of his vehicle on which were displayed the magnetic signs advertising his business. It must be nice to have the taxpayers underwrite your business expenses.

Of course this particular morally upright Christian probably feels secure in his behavior. He's connected at work and in church. If anyone complains about him and he gets in trouble, depending on how highly placed he is, if the complainant works in the county, their job will be in jeopardy, if they don't then there's a good chance that future travel through the county will result in an undue level of police attention.

Can you say corrupt, third world, hell hole? And yet  they wonder why they can't get businesses to move here.

Exploding Trash

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Open Car Hoods

My neighbors have a strange habit. They leave their car hoods open all day long. If they're at home they go out and open them. If they're out and about, they'll open them as soon as they get to their house. If they were working on them, I could understand. If they were showing them off to people, I could understand, but they aren't. They just leave them open. They don't do this everyday, just on certain days, and when one does it, they all do it. Have I stumbled onto to some new covert communication system, like shoes on electric wires? Perhaps they don't want certain vapors building up under the hood?

Of course, it may just be redneck stupidity and they're opening them because sometime, somewhere, someone told them that on certain days it should be done. My votes still on the communication system.

Intense Selfishness of the Hillbilly Class

Self involved people can really complicate life for those around them. My neighbor was mowing the lawn today. Of course, he made sure that he put the majority of the leaves in the road.

You have to admit, he did a really thorough job of covering the road.

Dangerous for those who are going to drive down the road tonight, especially since it's going to be raining. At least the neighbor won't have to worry about leaves in his yard and that's all he really cares about. Since it's rural Kentucky, there aren't any laws against it, at least any that will be enforced. It's part of the charm of country living.

Redneck

A redneck is someone who can't talk enough about their independence, while holding out their hand for a government check.

No Education Required

Talking with a former school employee the other day, I finally figured out why my neighborhood is overrun with school age kids who never go to school. It always confused me, because if you're working class, the school board will send the court after you for truancy without blinking. I couldn't figure out how all my neighbors were getting away with it. Apparently, if your child is headed towards truancy court, and it doesn't look like you can be bullied, your child goes on homeschool, and no one follows up to ensure standards are being met. Problem solved.

You can't really blame the school district (as much as I would like to). The state is keeping track of the numbers. This means that the county that cheats the most, looks the best. You're going to get shut down if you try to address the problem in an effective fashion. This seems to happen every time bureaucrats try to make things run more efficiently.

It does keep problem kids out of the schools. But, the kids who fall into this category are usually the ones who've never seen anything but a government check lifestyle. Their parents and relatives generally don't work and usually have the combined IQ of tree sap. To place these children on homeschool means that they have absolutely no chance of breaking the cycle of government dependence or of amounting to anything. At least the numbers look good and the kids aren't getting above their raising.

Country Living

 

Yes, the wondrous sights that await your inspection when you wake up in the morning in rural Kentucky. Apparently someone in the neighborhood had some nocturnal fun involving my van window and a rock. Such is Appalachia.

 

 

 

 

I did get to witness some amusing activity on the part of my neighbor though. Some back story is required to fully understand the humor of the situation. This particular neighbor doesn't live in his trailer during the summer, he lives a mile down the street. He just shows up once a week to mow the lawn. When the weather turns cool, he starts to show up for a couple of times a day, for about an hour at a time. Weird, but so what? When the temperature drops below about 50, he starts his wood stove and shows up to keep the wood stove fueled. He usually moves back in 2 or 3 nights a week at this point. When the temperature goes above 50, he disappears and goes back to visiting a couple of times a day. When the weather gets hot, he disappears completely. I could understand keeping a fire lit to keep the pipes from freezing, but keeping one lit to keep an abandoned trailer over 50 is odd. But it wouldn't be Appalachia without the odd. The amusing part happened the day the van window was broken. I called the sheriff, who showed up promptly, along with my neighbor. Coincidence, or was someone listening to their scanner? They both showed up within 10 minutes of me calling the sheriff. My neighbor stayed in his house until the sheriff left, then proceeded to load a half dozen boxes into his car and drive off.  Which left me wondering, was this all just a coincidence, or did hearing a call for the sheriff near his house spook him into moving some illegal laboratory items. Inquiring minds want to know.

 

 

That's the worst part about this place. You're never quite sure whether what you are seeing is an indicator of a felony in progress or just stupid on parade. It's very confusing.

Kentucky Sucks?

Kentucky is a diverse state. There are places in Kentucky that are great places to live, friendly people, low cost of living, law enforcement that actually works, and schools that are among the best in the nation. Kentucky manages to accomplish this by allowing a large level of local control. If you ask a Kentuckian where they are from, odds are, they will name the county and not the city. The dark side of this is, that when things go bad, they go Boss Hog, Billy Jack bad very fast, and there is no recourse for the average citizen.

How can you tell the difference at first glance? Look for out of state companies that have invested in factories in the area. You can be pretty sure that they've analyzed the area. If there's a plant within an hour of your location, you might be in a good area. Next, go to the plant. If you see a lot of immigrant workers, run, don't walk away. It means the locals are too busy with their meth labs to want to work. It means the local government enticed the company there with some sort of incentive that outweighed the poor work force. If you see all locals working there, you might have found a good area. Next apply the cop test. Walk up to an officer of the law and say, "good morning" or "good evening" or whatever is appropriate. If they respond in kind, you've probably found a good area to live. Kentucky has places that are as close to a middle class paradise as anyone could reasonably want. It also has places that look like they filmed Deliverance there. Caveat Emptor.

Worst Places to Live

According to the New York Times, this county ranks number 3092 out of the 3135 counties in the United States. That ranks this county in the bottom 1% of all counties in the United States. Why am I not surprised.

House Guest

Fall is arriving in Kentucky, and with it, house guests. When you live in a 125 year old farmhouse, that's just part of the charm. It's not really a problem, just an expected part of life. When the weather gets colder, you put out the mouse traps, and realize that while the weather is changing, some of them are going to get through into the house. It usually sorts itself out in the week or so it takes the mice who have decided to move into the house to die.

This week I got more than I bargained for in the form of a 6 foot black rat snake who thought my kitchen would make a nice winter's den. I was innocently making a cup of coffee, when I heard a scratching sound, and there he was making his getaway out an old mouse hole. I guess I should be grateful. The mouse hole was in an overhang of the cabinets. I'd have never stumbled across it if I hadn't seen him use it, since it wasn't visible from eye level. So he pointed out a mouse hole for me to plug. I guess he's going to be living under my house this winter. The logical part of me is glad he's there. A black rat snake in a crawlspace is a good thing, but nearly tripping over him while going for a cup of coffee is a bit unnerving. Of course, there's also the thought of, "where will I trip over him next?"

Animals

I came across an article the other day talking about proud independent Appalachian people and why they disliked the government, felt little respect for the law, and how this was a sign of their independent spirit.

Allow me to clarify. When you grow pot in your backyard, when you use your old cattle barn to make moonshine for your family and friends, when you marry your cousin, when you handle snakes in church, when you teach your kids the earth is 6000 years old, that's none of my business. Feel free to be independent all you want.

When you set up a meth lab next door, when you chop the pipes on your four wheeler and race up and down the street all night, when you have speakers that shake the walls of my house every time you drive by, when your idea of target practice is to throw a milk jug out in the yard and stand on the porch and blast away at it, even though there are houses within 100 feet, then you're not exercising independence, you're an animal who needs to be locked in a cage. End discussion.

Above Your Raisin'

Appalachia is a strange place. There are a lot of people here who fly UK flags and wear Wildcat shirts, but won't let their daughters attend school there. Can't have them gettin bove thar raisin. If I were in UK administration, I'd really be embarrassed about a large proportion of Wildcat fans.

Moving Traffic Signs

Did you know that it's legal to rearrange traffic signs in Kentucky? Well apparently it is if you're Stony Point Baptist Church in Albany, Kentucky.

You can just make out the T intersection about 15 yards down the road. The sign used to be at the intersection, but when the church paved their parking lot, they moved the sign to the edge of their new parking lot. I guess it's a lot more convenient for the for the parishioners. They get to leave church unimpeded, something all good Baptists seem to be in a hurry to do, and they don't have to worry about oncoming traffic. It kind of messes things up for everyone else though. You'd think someone would fine them, or at least make them move the sign, but Appalachia is a theocracy in many respects. No one would think of questioning a church here. Hell awaits those who do.
Even this would be livable if anyone here knew how to drive. I always thought it was common knowledge that at a T intersection with no signs, the person entering had to yield. Everyone here that I've asked has told me that the person who gets there first has right of way. So if the person driving down this road sees oncoming traffic, they floor it, so that they can be in the right. I'm surprised that no one has been killed. I'm annoyed with the church for thinking they can do whatever they want. I'm appalled at the authorities for not doing anything because it's all about politics.

Double Dealing

A while back, a couple of friends of mine decided to open a mom and pop store. They found one and agreed on a rental price. It was a really cheap price, because the store was a mess. Wanting to attract customers, they fixed it up, whereupon, the owners decided that since the store was in better shape now, they should raise the rent. They should have gotten a firmer contract. That's the thing about this place. You need to watch every word you say, everything you do, and always assume that the other person is out to scam you. It's exhausting. It's like trying to live around a bunch of Rumpelstiltskin wannabes. As Mr. Worf would say, these people have no honor.

It reminds me of this county. Walmart tried to move here and found utilities unavailable because the ruling families didn't want the competition. McDonald's found the cost of land suddenly raised when they tried to buy. Of course, when the ruling families decided to get into fast food, all these barriers vanished. And people wonder why no one wants to relocate businesses to Appalachia. The state thinks it has to do with taxes or increasing the number of college graduates. It's nothing of the sort. If you want a healthy business environment, look to the corruption and the attitudes of the people.

Imagine

Imagine a narrow, winding, mountain road. Imagine road construction that closes one lane. Imagine that the road construction is extensive enough so that it requires flagmen with radios at each end. Imagine what happens when both ends of the construction zone let cars through at the same time.

On my way back through in the afternoon, the cause became apparent. Apparently, one of the flagmen decided that holding the stop sign and tuning it was just to much work. He got around this by sticking it in a traffic cone with the stop side towards traffic. That way he could just lean against his truck and not be bothered with it. If he wanted people to go, he just had to wave them through. If he wanted them to stop, he could just ignore them and let the stop sign do the talking. You have to admit, it is a lot easier than standing with the sign and constantly having to turn it around.

Fast Food Bags

My neighbors appear to be active again. They also appear to be going out to eat at the local fast food restaurants, since all the empty wrappers are ending up in my yard. The annoying part is that I'll never catch them at it. The family stretches for a half mile in each direction, and none of them work. Hell, their kids don't even go to school. What that means is that they have a great advantage when it comes to annoying behavior. They have nothing better to do. It gets exhausting at times. Maybe they'll get annoyed enough with me to burn my house down while I'm at work. It would save me the trouble of putting it on the market and trying to sell it with the current neighbors.

Bomb Scare

The schools in the county were closed last Friday due to a bomb threat. Apparently someone had called in a bomb threat to the high school, so they closed all the schools in the county. You can't fault them for playing safe and closing them all. I'm glad they did.

On a good note, it seems that that caught the person making the threat. Since they were, obviously, a juvenile, all further information will now fall into a judicial justice black hole in order to protect poor Johnnie's reputation. I hope the judicial system will deal harshly with this kid. If not, they've in effect told the school kids that they can cancel school anytime they want. I wonder what test Johnny had coming up that made him commit this heinous act?

Of course, since this kid got caught, next time they'll probably call from a cell phone that they stole from one of the nerd crowd or something similar. Hopefully, they won't think of that.

Getting Away with Murder

This happened awhile ago, but recent events brought it to mind. It is a staple of local history though.

It appears that murder isn't murder if you have blood sugar problems. A few years ago, a woman got mad at her husband and drove over him repeatedly with her car. Fortunately for her, she had enough money to hire the state senator, David Williams, as her defense attorney. He managed to convince the jury that she wasn't responsible for her actions, because her blood sugar was low. Think about it. She deliberately ran him over. that was never in question. And all she had to do to walk free was to say her blood sugar was low.

I don't think this shows badly on David Williams. After all, he was doing his job, and obviously doing it very well. But where to you find a jury stupid enough to buy that drivel.

The Intense Selfishness of the Lower Classes

Kipling coined this phrase. Living in Appalachia proves his wisdom on a daily basis. Forget the noble, yet hard working lower class person drivel you've been taught. It just ain't so. The lower classes need constant control. That's a bit of 18th Century wisdom that has been forgotten. Another bit of 18th century wisdom is that poor and lower class are not synonyms like many would have us believe. Poor is an economic condition, lower class is a mindset.

While travelling through the local population center, I came across the following sight:

Yes, Beavis was having car troubles and decided that the middle of a 6 lane was an appropriate place to work on it. I know what you're saying, it might have been an immediate car failure that he had no control over. It's possible, but not at all likely. Most things that don't involve tire failure at least give you enough time to get off the road. Most people would also think about getting off the road, but Beavis seemed to be happily checking under his hood and trying to figure out what was going on. Since it happened in a population center, the police will be there soon to get his vehicle off the road. This picture just seemed to epitomize Appalachian driving.

You'll find out whether you're susceptible to road rage the first time someone comes to a complete stop in front of you so that they can talk to someone going the other way. Honestly, they'll just stop and have a chat in the middle of the road, blocking all traffic. It doesn't matter who's behind them. Yes, the intense selfishness of the lower classes.

The Vespa Brigade

You see them all over around here. Men driving around on motor bikes. It's not something I expected when I came here. I would expect to see them in urban areas, after all, they appear to be a convenient way to get around in congested areas, especially when the distances are relatively short. I never expected to see them cruising down state highways in rural Kentucky. Personally, I find them highly annoying. When the speed limit is 55, it's annoying to come upon someone cruising down middle of the road at 25. Honestly, I don't know why they aren't hit by the other traffic on the road on a regular basis.

The reason for the plethora of motorbikes was explained to me by the locals. They don't require an operator's license, so when someone gets their license pulled for excessive DUIs, they can get around by Vespa. It's better than the alternative, I suppose. I still think they're annoying.

Safe Water?

I went to do some washing up the other day, and noticed that the tap water smelled like a swimming pool. The reason for this was that the chlorine levels were close to 5ppm. That's the upper end of what you'd find in a heavily used public pool. Of course it's not always this bad, and I'm sure the average level meets federal guidelines, but I can see why no one here drinks the water.

To be fair to the water company, the source they have to work with is bad. For some reason Kentucky allows the dumping of septic tank contents from boats, which does wonders for the local water source. On top of this, no one enforces laws regarding septic tanks, which helps even more. I've been involved in water testing here, and if I remember correctly, this place is number 1 in the south central region for E. Coli count. Yay! We're # 1!

You can't really blame the water company for chlorinating to the max in that environment, but the water's still undrinkable.

Corrupt Hissy Fit Judge

I feel like an idiot. Of course, I have an excuse, I don't really know how the political structure of Kentucky counties is set up. I really should have found out long ago. Unfortunately, no one will tell you. You have to search around for the right people to ask, otherwise you just get lied to. It's exhausting.

It appears that I need to take back my bad thoughts about the jailer. I always thought that my idiot jailer deputy neighbor, who lets his dog do what he pleases and discharges firearms irresponsibly was hired by him, and using his political connections to do as he pleases. It turns out he was hired by Lyle Huff, the county judge executive, and using his political connections. I guess that explains why Lyle Huff told animal control to stand down after I reported that his dog had acted in a threatening manner toward my kids in my yard on numerous occasions. Of course jailer deputy neighbor did put up a beware of owner sign, but I saw that as more of a threat than a solution to the problem. Yeah, I really feel like I can trust county government.

The bright spot is the reports I received about Huff's behavior after he lost the election (I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't like him). Apparently, he went to his office the day after the election, took all his stuff out, and left for an extended period of time to pout. Teenage McDonald's workers usually show more class than that. I love it when bully politicians show their true colors. Apparently, karma has been working overtime lately.

Educational Standards

A week of dealing with woefully underprepared students has once again left me wondering how the high schools here manage to maintain their accreditation. When a student doesn't know what 8 divided by 2 is, or 6 times 5, or the square root of 9, they probably have too much catching up to do to be successful in a college algebra course. The sad part is when you ask these students what classes they took in high school, a lot of them answer with pre-calculus. What the teacher was doing in said pre-calculus course other than handing out grades is open to question.

Of course the Bluegrass has the solution to this problem. Crack down on truancy, force the students to attend, and allow the local schools to conduct the standardized testing like they always have. Apparently, I'm the only one who sees a problem with this.

Karma?

I have 3 neighbors who don't know the etiquette of keeping dogs. In short, they just let them run loose to do as they please because they have "rahts". I've really come to hate that word since moving to Appalachia. Today 2 sets of them descended on my trash when I put it out for pickup and started to scatter it all over my yard and in the street. Needless to say, I stopped them. Then I went to work. It's one of those things people expect me to do. One of the dogs, being more intelligent than his owner,  apparently decided that since I didn't want the trash in my yard, he'd take it to his, which he proceeded to do. I guess it's karma. The owner will figure it out when he comes over Friday (yes, I said Friday, today being Monday) to feed his dog (maybe) and mow his grass. Until then, I guess it's just an amusing sight.

The Gift of Car Mats

The other night, I was woken up around 1 in the morning by car doors slamming and general banging. Nothing unusual with that. I usually get woken up every night by slamming car doors, yelling, pimp mobiles, four wheelers, and what have you. Hill folk are noisy. After listening for awhile and determining that the sounds didn't seem to indicate danger, I went back to sleep. Imagine, being woken up at night, and thinking, is this sound dangerous enough to grab a 12 gauge or can I go back to sleep. Well, I do call this place "The Ghetto with Trees", but I digress...

The next morning, I found the reason for the car doors. Four car floor mats were sitting on the road in front of my driveway. Did someone stop in front of my driveway, throw all their floor mats in the street and drive off at 1 in the morning? What the Hell people?

Peaceful Southern Nights

Once more, the hills of Kentucky reverberated with the sound of gunfire in the middle of the night. Well, 11pm to be precise. It leaves one wondering whether or not they should be concerned or not. Is it someone shooting nuisance dogs, coon hunters, or someone taking care of their ex. One never knows. Last night wasn't too bad, just 2 shots in quick succession, it's the nights where someone empties the magazine from a high capacity firearm as quickly as they can work the trigger that make you think.

Of course calling the cops is kind of useless in this case. You can't really tell where the gunfire is from. When you're in your house, with the windows shut and the air conditioning on, the best you can do is say something like; "this many shots, about a quarter to half a mile, that general direction, sounded like this type of weapon". That's really not going to help anyone.

No Healthcare for Rural Kentuckians

I went to visit my doctor awhile ago and was expecting the usual copay. I got the usual copay, but also another bill for over $500 from the local hospital. Surprise.

I live in an area with very few services. If I want to see a specialist, I need to drive 1 1/2 to 3 hours each way. Knowing this, many doctors elect to have clinics at the local hospitals so they can reach a larger client base. Apparently, now I get charged for seeing my doctor and also as an outpatient at the hospital, even though my doctor brings his own technicians with him. If I drive to my doctor's clinic, the insurance covers the bill, except for the copay. If I go to the clinic he runs at the local hospital, I pay his copay, plus outpatient fees at the hospital. If my insurance company had told me about the change beforehand, I would have made the drive, but to surprise me like that? The only words that come to mind are, "Fuck Humana".

Since Humana is the insurance company you have if you work for the state of Kentucky in any capacity, I can only wonder who in Frankfort received a kickback from that one. For a state that keeps whining about the need to develop the rural areas,  to allow double billing of medical services for people who don't elect to drive to one of the state's population centers just seems stupid. Now, what used to be a doctor's visit I would fit into a lunch hour, will now be a paid sick day. Way to boost productivity and worker contentment Bluegrass State.

The Sweet Smell of Summer in Appalachia

Yes, with the warm weather comes the common smell of summer in Appalachia. I'm not talking about flowers, or farms, I mean burning garbage. A large proportion of the people in Appalachian Kentucky have not advanced beyond burning all their household trash. Of course they are advanced enough to know that the Commonwealth has passed laws against such practices (unfortunately, they have forgotten to tell their law enforcement officers, such is Kentucky). The result is that as night falls, and darkness settles over the hills, so to does the pleasant aroma of burning milk bottles, trash bags, diapers, used furniture, and whatever else the people here no longer have a use for. So much for peaceful Appalachian nights.

Redneck pet owners, part 2

My other neighbor has apparently found a more effective way to deal with dogs that he doesn't want anymore. A couple of gunshots and problem solved. Well, at least I have one less problem animal to worry about. Now, if I can get the law to do anything about him discharging firearms within 100 feet of my house I'd be all set. But, since he is the law, and this is Appalachian Kentucky, it's a moot point.

Redneck pet owners

After 2 weeks, I finally got my neighbors dog to take food from me. It probably helped that he hadn't been fed in 3 days.

About 3 years ago the white trash next door got a dog. Of course a large one, who stayed on a 10 foot chain his entire life. I suspect the reason he was kept around had to do with the fact that this particular neighbor only lived there 1 or 2 nights a week, but would show up half a dozen times per day for 30 minutes at a time. That and the fact that there were extension cords running to the crawl space under his trailer made me kind of suspicious. About 3 months ago the cords disappeared, and the dog was turned loose. The owner now shows up every couple of days. Of course he's a problem animal. Spending his nights taking everything from my property onto his owners. Potted plants, tools, basically everything that's not nailed down, ripping stuff up. He looks like he'd have been a good dog, but 3 years on a leash with no attention have turned his brain to mush. When you finally get a dog close enough to touch and his first reaction is to get the shakes, you know there's an owner who should be doing time for animal cruelty.

In a civilized country, I could call animal control. But animal control here won't talk to me, I don't have any kin. Quoting Kentucky law on stray animals only gets me transferred to the judge executive, who will quote Jesus, and protect the good ole boy network (at least the bastard got voted out, so the good ole boys might be losing a bit of their grip on the county). Talking to the neighbor will just get my tires slashed in the middle of the night. Rednecks are nothing if not consistent. So, I need to deal with this myself. The question is, now that I have a new friend, what do I do with him? Since he has no tags and the owner only shows up at his place every couple of days for a 30 minute visit, I feel morally justified in treating him as a stray, but if I take him to animal control, they'll just shoot him, probably the same night. Rednecks don't like anything that causes work. It is an interesting problem.

Good Neighbors

An interesting week last week. Apparently, someone felt the need to cut the fuel lines on my car. The question is, is it disgruntled people from work or disgruntled neighbors. I was warned when I arrived here not to do anything that would annoy the locals because they tended to be vengeful. Usually, this is good advice, but when your job includes evaluating people, and when your personality is such that you feel the need to call law enforcement when the local meth lab starts smelling up the neighborhood, it gets more difficult in practice. Of course, contacting law enforcement is not an option. I was also told when I arrived here, by a politically connected, white collar co-worker,  to watch my step, because anyone here could kill me anytime they wanted and no one would care, because I wasn't from here. I don't quite believe that of course. I think they were just trying to mark their territory and put me in my place. I have learned though, that if you have a law enforcement problem, you need to wait until it gets bad enough to report to the state officials. If you contact the locals, they just end up giving your contact info to the person you complained on and walking away. I was told that was how it worked here to, but again, proving it is a different matter.

Blue States should pay more in taxes than they get back

While waiting in line today, I got to hear an interesting rant from one of the great unwashed in line ahead of me. Seriously, I do mean unwashed. It looked like nothing associated with this gentleman had seen water for at least a week and you could almost see the fug hanging around him. The gist of the rant was about how Obamacare is unfair. This person had tried to buy Obamacare, but they wouldn't let him until he went back to Ohio and got a copy of his prison release records. Of course it wasn't his fault he was in prison. It was all due to the fact that the police and judges in Ohio just liked putting people in jail. By this time, I was feeling very sympathetic towards the police and judges of Ohio. Now, think how much the state of Ohio spent to keep this man in prison. Think how much the state and his neighbors would be paying if he were running free. Wouldn't it be nice if the people of Ohio could pay someone a modest fee to take him off their hands? Well, they can.

 I often hear the complaint from blue state people that they pay more in federal taxes than they get back and that the situation is reversed for the red states. This argument is often used to point out the hypocrisy of the red states when they complain about federal taxes. I'd like to point out to the blue states, that this situation is entirely fair, and in fact, they should be paying more.

What people from the blue states don't realize is that there is a sizable migration from their states to the red states. I'm not talking about the people who move to red states to get a better job. These people pay taxes and lessen the difference between the amount a state pays in federal taxes and the amount it receives. No, I'm talking about the people who tend to move to the rural areas of the red states.

Yes, some of them are moving for jobs, but frequently it is the chronically unemployed who are relocating to the rural red zones. Why are they moving? When you ask them, the reasons are usually two fold. First, since the standard of living is so much lower, they can afford a place of their own on what the government provides. Sure, it's just a 30 year old trailer on a rented lot, but it's better than public housing. Second, law enforcement tends to ignore a lot in Appalachia. Blue state people, are you seeing why you should pay more yet?

Don't look upon it as the red states taking more in taxes. Look upon it as a fee the red states charge to warehouse your  People of WalMart for you. I think they're getting off cheap. Personally, I wish they'd keep both the money and the people.

Hillbilly Hell

Appalachia. It conjures up images of proud and independent mountain folk, mountain vistas, isolated rural areas, and the movie Deliverance. That's a quaint and rather naive image.  There's a darker side. That side includes chronic poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, corrupt politicians, fundamentalists, and law enforcement that only works for the select few. In brief, except for the fundamentalists, every problem that you'd associate with an inner city problem area.

I've been told that Appalachia used to be different. I can't answer that, since I don't know the Appalachia of yesteryear. I just know that for the most part Appalachia hasn't managed the transition to the 21st century well at all.

If you like meth labs, people who are afraid to contact law enforcement, substance impaired drivers, school teachers who proclaim in class that "all homosexuals will face hellfire", people who believe that women have one more rib than men because the Bible says so, school systems that allow grades and discipline to be distributed based of family connections, law enforcement that works the same way, and neighbors who race their four wheelers around their half acre lots for half the night, then you'd probably like Appalachia. Otherwise, it will probably leave you wondering why the United States is expending so much effort fighting corrupt, fundamentalist, third world regimes half a planet away when their are corrupt, fundamentalist, third world regimes in the United States that should probably have priority.