It Mine!!!!!

My new neighbors have a pet. A cute little hound dog. Well he would be cute if his ribs weren't showing and he wasn't covered with scabs. Taking care of your animals is not an Appalachian trait. Only collecting large quantities of them.

Of course the dog spends its days wandering the neighborhood and his nights chasing the cows of the farmer over the hill. I don't know why he hasn't been shot yet. He started off with a collar. For those of you not from Appalachia, that does not mean a license and rabies tag. A collar alone denotes ownership. Licenses and rabies shots are for foreigners (meaning anyone who lives outside of the county and in some cases anyone who lives off of the street). Of course he slipped his collar. This not being allowed, he next was put in a training harness and left to run free. It was kind of pathetic watching him get caught on things and struggling to get loose. He eventually got out of that and the neighbors freaked.

I was kind of amusing to watch the family drive up and down the street in an attempt to get the dog. They finally caught him and drove him home. Not wanting him to run off again, they stayed outside and watched him for a half hour. Then they got bored and went inside. It's hard to believe that anyone can be that stupid, but you can't ignore the evidence.

More Hillbilly Burning Rituals

Apparently, my neighbors decided to do a very thorough spring cleaning, which included doing more than barbequing their dogs. The next morning, they decided to burn more trash.

Yes, that is a Coleman cooler chest that Beavis is setting on fire. The fact that he was using a butane pocket torch, the kind you see on TV associated with meth pipes to light it makes me kind of curious about what kind of evidence he was trying to destroy. You can see the cooler burning in this picture.

You may also notice how close the fire is to the trailer. Not content with this, aerosol cans were next on the list. They seemed to find it most amusing.
At this point I called the law. Silly me, I called the State Police first, and when they suggested I call the fire department,  I informed them that the fire department here refused to respond to illegal burns, that being a state issue. They said they would handle it. When I latter called county dispatch they seemed very angry at me for some reason. Could it be that I called the state first? They demanded to know who it was that told me they wouldn't come out for illegal burns. When I gave them the name of the person in charge of the fire department, they seemed even more annoyed with me. I guess an apology for the wrong information being given to me would have been too professional of them.
Whatever the reason, the fire department arrived promptly and behaved in a professional manner.
The amusing part was, before the fire department arrived, I had Beavis strutting around and glaring at my house.

 

 

If you saw someone dressed like this, bouncing around in an uncoordinated fashion, using a lighter associated with the drug crowd to set a cooler on fire, what would you think? Amazingly, just before the fire department arrived, he ran inside and changed into something more presentable.

 



 

 

That's him in the red t-shirt. Of course he was also full of yes sir, no sir, I didn't know the law sir Appalachian politeness, even though the state had been out there multiple times for the same problem last spring. You just have to love police scanners. Law enforcement should probably stick to cell phones around here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Appalachian Burning Rituals

In my last post, I wrote about the wonderful smell of burning that the residents of Appalachia are subjected to as a result of the mentally challenged using wood heat. It is now springtime and the wood stoves are going out. Regrettably, they are replaced by another form of burning. Everyone here will burn all the growth that has accumulated in their yards and all the trash that has accumulated in their houses while they were hibernating rat like around their stoves.

 

Of course, Kentucky only allows the burning of yard waste, but everyone knows yard waste gives off clouds of black smoke. Since the county refuses to enforce state laws outside the city limits, there's not much that can be done. Before I moved here, I didn't know that a county could refuse to enforce state laws. Then I moved to Clinton county and learned better. Here the law depends on who you know and who your kin are rather than anything so mundane as the law.

 

I would say that these people are just totally selfish and have no respect for their neighbors, but they tend to treat themselves just as badly.

 

 

What's scarier about this picture? The fact that your friendly neighborhood redneck seems intent on cooking his dogs, or the fact that there's an infant in the trailer and the person who started the fire took off and left the fire unattended?